It’s just puzzles me on why do you act that way? You keep on pushing away people who cares for you. You act so strong but don’t you know it’s okay to shed a tear or two sometimes to ease the pain and even make you feel better. I don’t intend to make things better but at least make you feel lighter. Why do you keep on doing this? Your friends loves and cares for you,can’t you just let them comfort you? I want to be there for you all the time, I’m trying to break your barrier please let me let me….
It has been awhile since I last posted on how things are going in my life right now. Since my last post a lot has changed already. I know that I’m stronger,wiser and better now. Thanks to you!
There has also been a huge change in me, now more focused on my goals and things has been doing way,way better than I expected it to be. You may come and knock at my door sometimes but it will only up to that point that I will peep through that small hole, look at your emotions but never open the door again. Because once I open the door things may come crashing again. It may sound that I’m way better off without you but I can’t say that for sure yet.
Whatever happens I’ll be here as I am there for the rest of my friends and ‘him’ because everything is in the past and I’d like to look forward to the future. I have no regrets and hope never will have.
I am very happy for that 2012 a lot has happened,shared things with you for the first time. Thank You for everything! You will be remembered forever.
No words can describe on how happy I feel right now. Thank You for saving me in doing this. Really happy!!!!!!! :D
I don’t know how to put into words how I feel right now. It’s a mix of pain,frustration,anger,sadness and every emotion that you would feel when everything has gone wrong. I am lost, totally lost right now. I don’t know what to do,what to say, what to think and how to react to everything. I have placed myself,my heart at risk for quite a long time thinking that everything will be worth it at the end. But then not everything has a happy ending.
Right now all I want to do is forget about everything,cry as hard as I can,pour out and say all my emotions. But I can’t because in the end I would be the loser. Instead I’ll just sit tight think through things wait until my heart and mind goes together again.
They have not heard anything from me especially you not a single complain on how you’ve treated me, the things going through my mind and all the pain I had gone through. And till the end, I don’t know how things will go I’ll keep my mouth shut and not a single soul in the world would know everything I felt.
PS: Sorry for crappy grammar or any shit about my English. i just really need an outlet tonight.
Please promise me one thing,be happy and love with all your heart! Okay?
I guess my time is up already! It’s time for me to really close the gate, good thing it was only up to the gate. But I still can’t understand on how fast someone gets attracted to another person immediately. I hope new people that will be coming to my life in the coming years would be more sensitive with the feelings of other people. I’ve learned a lot with this chapter of my life. And most importantly I have NO REGRETS!
CHEERS TO THE BETTER ME!THANK YOU FOR THE WONDERFUL MEMORIES. We are still friends no matter what :)
I will always be here, but do you notice?
I did shed a tear or two though it was not that sobbing I thought I should have for 3 years of not doing such, it was okay. It felt good to release those emotions those tears that has been carrying a lot sadness and pain. Falling asleep after crying then waking up makes me feel quite a new person. Now not clouded with emotions with the decisions I am supposed to make but now determined to use my heart and mind on the best way to close this chapter of my life. I believe that in every GOODBYE there is a better and brighter HELLO prepared to you by the Lord. So I just have to hold on keep on believing that everything will be better.
I always only hope for one thing that the people I love,the people dearest to me,the people that I care about so much will be happy. I am that person that would have myself sacrifice for their happiness because the Lord created us not only to fulfill our own joys but rather to help other people have it too. It may hurt right now but there is no pain that time can’t heal and of course with God’s grace.
I am writing this not for you to read because I don’t know if you would have the chance to but it’s for myself to express what I feel. Because for me writing is a form of letting out everything. It makes me feel good and smile being able to write this way.
Now, I’ll be living my life by caring for myself as equal to how I care for others. I know that this experiences are making me better and someday preparing me for that happy ending that God has all planned for me.
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